A Woman’s Strength

I had a disheartening conversation a few years ago with a youth pastor. I commented on how disappointing it was, as the mother of boys, to see certain movies promoting strong female leads. Let me just say, before you click away or unfollow me, that in and of itself this is not wrong or bad. 

He said it’s important for women to be strong and not think that there always has to be a “white knight to rescue her”. I don’t entirely disagree with him.  Some women, by God’s design, may remain single so, we don’t want to raise girls with the mentality that a guy is their only means to happiness.  And our true happiness shouldn’t come from our husbands anyway. It comes from God. And Women ARE strong. Just look in the Bible- Deborah, Abigail, Esther, Ruth to name a few.

I agreed with him that women can be strong but was tired of it being at the expense of men. That the male characters are shown as ineffective, weak wusses who are pushed aside by these strong, independent women. It concerned me that someone who was in charge of teaching our son might pass along a thought process that doesn’t seem to line up with what the Bible teaches us about men and women. He said that movies can just be a good story without a political agenda. 

Sigh. If only society worked like that! Unfortunately, if you look at what society as a whole has become, how can he say that? Pastors are doing a disservice if they stick their head in the sand and deny this. Or deny that political discussions or ones about radical feminism don’t belong in church.

Whether we want them to have a political agenda or not, a lot of movies do. Society does.

It’s this subtle agenda that has crept in and even some of our Christian pastors aren’t recognizing the damage. They don’t see it. Or worse, see it and don’t address it.

I have prayed and dreamed about the kind of women I want for my 3 sons someday.

And yes, I want strong women, not door mats for them.  Women who will be strong enough to be his helper (this is a hard task that takes a strong woman!), correct him when he’s being unkind or straying from God and speak up if he’s allowing sin in his life.

But, I also believe that we are doing a disservice to girls in allowing them to go all in on these movies, teaching them that they don’t need a man. Do we not look around and see the damage in society from weak, passive men, radical feminism and controlling women?  

And how is this affecting men in society when they are told they are not needed, unnecessary? Men and women are designed to need each other. You only have to look in Genesis - man was lacking something, not enough on his own so God created a helper for him.

We are teaching girls self reliance, not to depend on anyone but themselves. So, if they are taught they are strong, independent women not needing anyone, how will this translate into friendship later in life?  Serving in the church? What if God gives them a husband? Most importantly, what is this teaching them about God? If they don’t need anyone but themselves how will they ever understand that they need a Savior to rescue them from sin?

We need to be careful not to teach girls that they are strong in themselves. Teach them how strong they are but where and WHO that strength comes from.  Also, that alongside strength, comes weakness, that they DO need other people.  And that ultimately our weaknesses can only be overcome by Jesus, our white knight come to rescue us.