Called

Before we got married, we took part in premarital counseling. One of the questions our pastor discussed with us was whether we’d thought about if I would work or not once/if we had children. Both of us having been raised by stay-at-home mother’s, it was an easy answer for us - Yes, I would stay home to raise any children God blessed us with.

In theory this was easy to say and believe. But the practice of it would be much harder.

When I found out I was pregnant with Hannah, I was working as a paralegal. I was blessed with a great boss and enjoyed my job.  

As my desire had always been to be a wife and mother, I found it easy to tell my boss I was leaving as soon as I had the baby.  After we lost Hannah, my boss allowed me to come back part time even though he had hired someone to replace me. This was a huge relief as I didn’t want to sit home and part time was perfect as I recovered physically and emotionally from the trauma of Hannah’s birth.

9 weeks after losing Hannah we discovered I was pregnant again. When I told my boss, he told me I could stay part time after I had baby #2 if I wanted. Even now, looking back, I’m still not sure what made me keep that door open for so long.  With Hannah, I had immediately told my boss I was done as soon as she arrived.  This time, I just couldn’t bring myself to say the words. Maybe it was fear that I would lose this child too. We were still living with my parents and Mike had been unable to find a better paying job than the one he had taken almost a year before when he got laid off. So maybe I didn’t quite trust God and wanted my own backup plan.

During this time Mike and I attended a marriage conference and, while there, I purchased a book entitled “Coming Home to Raise Your Children” by Christine Field.

She basically said that if you feel God is calling you to stay home and raise your children you just need to step out in faith and do it.  I remember going to Mike after reading that and telling him that I was quitting my job when the baby came. He just looked at me, dumbfounded, and said “ Yeah, we already agreed on that.” So I then explained what had been going on in my head and heart. Mike gently reminded me that he was on board and totally behind me in the decision. That we would do whatever it took for me to stay home.

God has a sense of humor as the next day my boss called me into his office and said he needed a final decision on if I was leaving after the baby so he could start looking for a replacement. With a confidence that only God could inspire, I told him that my last day would be June 19. And honestly, in that moment, I felt God’s total peace and knew that I was being obedient to the call He had placed on my life.

We encountered opposition by many people (mostly those we worked with). A constant barrage of questions of how we were going to pay our bills, you’re still living with your parents how will you ever move out with one income? How, why, it doesn’t make sense.  Through it all we stayed steadfast in our decision and continued to feel God’s presence and peace. 

On June 19 my coworkers said goodbye. I was asked how we were going to survive on just Mikes minimal pay. They were bewildered.  This didn’t make any sense to people that didn’t understand God or our faith. I just told them “God’s got it” and went home.  

That afternoon, Friday, at 4:00 pm, Mike got a job offer making double the pay that he had been. Talk about the 11th hour! But God always shows up in HIS timing, not ours. He just asks us to step out in faith and trust Him.

What is it that God is calling you to? It might be to stay home and raise your children, it might be a move, a job change.  Only you and God know what desires He has placed in you.

What step of faith can you take in obedience to that calling?

Maybe it’s time to take that first step.  Maybe it’s time to pray for God to make your path clear. I don’t know what God’s calling looks like for you personally. All I know is that when God is calling and we step out in faith, He will show up.